The child within

Remember the five year old that once was?

The one with the lopsided pigtails and the big curious eyes? The eyes that grew bigger and rounder as she stared into the fish tank ogling at the colorful fish that swam inside. Her face brightening up into a big, dimpled smile as she called out gleefully to everyone to come see the "fishies" inside. The trip to the aquarium. Her first trip to the aquarium. The one that would create the magic of a childhood memory freshly formed lighting up her face for days thereafter as she talked about the visit to her friends, embellishing her stories with exaggerated details over how big the aquarium was and how colorful the fish were.

Remember the five year old who had a simple innocence to her being?

The one with the naivety that only childhood can bring? She frolicked around the neighborhood in her tshirt and boyshorts, scruffy knees speckled with dirt from playing marbles. Chatting up to friends and strangers. She had unquestionable faith in people. An inability to read hidden intentions and the implicit belief that people were inherently good. She trusted openheartedly. Accepting them for who they were. As they were. Without ever trying to change them. Because there was never a need to.

Remember the five year old that believed in happy endings?

The one whose face radiated with endless sunshiney optimism as she listened to stories on her grandpa’s lap? She had absolute belief that things would turn out okay. No matter what. That no matter what else happened to the characters in the story, things would always be okay in the end. The knowledge that stories always had a happy ending. The absolute belief that life would turn out okay.

Remember that fearless five year old?

The curious little girl who let go of her mother’s hand on the busy city streets and found herself lost and all alone? She had no doubt whatsoever that the world was a safe place and that she would be found. She had an unrestrained, uninhibited curiosity over life. Fearless to dream big dreams. And eternal faith to accomplish it all.

Remember the five year old that once was?

Somewhere in life’s complicated maze we’ve lost sight of each other, she and I.

I miss that inner child within.

~vagabond~ © 2009